Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Loyal to a fault

I've had a lot of things to be unhappy about recently. And I've been trying not to let them get me down. But losing a "friend" is a little unsettling. I respect and admire that we asians tend to be loyal and we stick together with the people we love. But somewhere along the way, I learned a revolutionary (to me) thought; do not take up someone else's offenses.

I used to think that the right thing to do was to hate the person my friend hates, even if that third person was also my friend. I had to stick up for the ones I love. But I have come to decide that this wasn't for me anymore. If I have beef with someone because of a conflict that doesn't involve me, I need to clear the air and settle it. Escalating the conflict didn't resolve anything. It just meant I lost a friend without making an attempt at reconciliation.

And so, I find myself in a position where one person has beef with me, and has turned another friend against me. Granted, their friendship with each other goes back a lot further than my friendship with either of them. I only met them when I came to Colorado. But if I'm here to help you, and to work with you, you need to be able to work with me too. At the very least, be professional. The cold shoulder, the ignoring my presence, etc. is very childish. You're older than me. You're supposed to be a senior representative of your company. Act like it.

I'm frustrated because I need to work with these people. I'm frustrated because I've worked my ass off to win over their respect and trust, and I lose it overnight because of overzealous asian loyalty. And I'm frustrated because I don't like to lose friends.

Everyone else went out to lunch. I needed a moment to hang back and recoup. I still have a job to do, and I'm not going to let petty personal things get in the way.

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