Saturday, May 15, 2010

A different kind of strategery

Me: Ok. We're in crisis mode. We're skipping completely over plan B and going straight to plan C.
Coworker: What's plan C?
Me: I'm flying out to Wisconsin to try to calm down the customer, fix all their problems, and make magic happen.
Coworker: Can you really do all of that?
Me: No. Probably not. So we're going to have to keep plan B open as an option. Do you remember plan B?
Coworker: Yes.
Me: Are you ready to do plan B?
Coworker: I think so.
Me: That's not good enough. I need to know you can do this. Can you commit to plan B? Are you ready to do this?
Coworker: Yes. Yes I can.


Flashback to several weeks ago

Me: You take Customer A. They have 140 dispensers. I need you to fix them. All of them. You have until Friday.
[Some dialogue]
Coworker: But what if I fail? What do I do if I can't fix them all?
Me: We go to plan B.
Coworker: What's plan B?
Me: You fly to Wisconsin and you apologize profusely to the customer for not being able to fix his stuff.
Coworker: What do I do if that isn't enough?
Me: You set yourself on fire.


Flash back to the present

Me: Remember, the whole purpose of plan B is to get the customer to feel so bad for you that he isn't mad at us anymore. So you have to make sure he sees you when you set yourself on fire.
Coworker: Ok. I got it.

2 comments:

  1. (downward slanting brows) aw.

    lack of self-esteem.

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  2. That sounds like a wild assumption to me. ;)

    My coworker understands the job and all the duties that come with it. This includes, but is not limited to, working long hours, laughing at my jokes, and verbally agreeing to everything I say (while doing something completely different when I'm not watching.)

    You win some, you lose some.

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